Closet Motivation = Mall Motivation

I have been doing really well on my 6 Week Shred.  I do have a confession to make.  I ate wings on Tuesday, its BWW’s fault combined with the incoming snowpocalypse, and the one week of every month I have no self control over my emotions, diet, or exercise habits!  DAMMIT!  The guilt that has consumed me since Tuesday is just spilling out!  I also ate the leftover wings on Wednesday, CRAP SORRY!  I did try to work off Tuesday nights wings by shoveling the foot of snow dumped overnight on Wednesday morning, then decided to hell with it all and devoured the leftovers.  I am up 1 pound as of this morning, but you didn’t hear that from me cause I only get on the scale once per week.  Today I was in the house and honestly a lazy sack of crap. I walked a whopping 4800 steps, I blame the snow.  I live in Southern Virginia, so a foot of snow happens like once every 10 years if that.  I am not at home by choice, my street still has a foot of snow covering it – supposed to be close to 50 degrees tomorrow, so I can finally get the hell out of here!

In my immense home boredom I decided to go in my closet.  This happens when you are feeling good about your weight loss and diet program.  It is a good idea and very motivating…I am now motivated to go to the mall and buy two more pairs of fat pants at hopefully 80% off tomorrow because I still don’t fit in my fabulous pre-baby work apparel.  I told myself and my husband that I will fit in all those outfits in two weeks, unfortunately I start working again on Monday (something I am very excited about and may not be properly relaying that to you now, but know that I am excited about the prospect of working, just not what I have to wear to work at present).

When you are smacked with the motivation to get in your closet and try on those clothes, please learn a few lessons from me.  Don’t start by trying on the pinstriped suit.  If you have ANY more than 10 pounds to lose this is a BAD IDEA!!  Pinstripes turn into squiggle stripes on a ‘curvy’ figure (okay more than curvy but cut me a freaking break here).  Not only did I have squiggle stripes, this particular pair of slacks has pockets so I also had the super sexy flopped-open-so-you-can-see-the-pocket-lining pockets.  In addition to the ripple on either side of my zipper that screamed stand back cause this fly is going to bust open when she tries to walk!  They made it back to the hanger, unharmed and slightly stretched.  Might wait till the end of the 6 weeks to go there again.  It was painful.  That said start with your black slacks.  Got that?  TRY ON THE BLACK SLACKS!! The worst they can do is show a little muffin top.  They are encouraging and uplifting, that is why most of my current clothing is black.  I get it.  I unfortunately went ahead and decided to give the white ones a whirl (they fit me perfect, Jessica Simpson gets my fit).  This was another bad idea.  I don’t know why I saved the black for last.  By the time I got there I couldn’t appreciate that they weren’t THAT bad.  Probably because I had full visual of what they were hiding with my previous choices.  Like my thigh dimples that you could clearly see in my fantastic white pants.  Not only thigh dimples, but also that fabulous like fat stripe I have on the back of my thigh about two inches below my bulging butt.  I think my pants were actually trying to create an additional seam there, almost like they were buckling in, just to emphasize that I should not be wearing them.  Needless to say I made it through the pants, decided I didn’t have it in me to suffer trying on my shirts, and next time I enter my closet I am trying on my shoes first.  🙂  They never let a girl down!!  Until then, I am hitting the mall and buying some clearance fat gear to get me through the first couple weeks (and promptly donating it as soon as my squiggle stripes turn into pin stripes)!