I was watching one of my favorite trashy reality TV shows and caught a commercial for the movie coming out “This Is 40”. The movie trailer triggered thoughts about my life and the decade I launched into in October, my 30’s. In turning 30 it is surprising to me that I can remember when 30 was ‘OLD’. I recall partying in my late teens/early 20’s, taking stupid risks, trying stupid things, living carelessly and recklessly, but having an absolute blast! One thing that I can say when I slip back into my 20 year old frame of mind is that I am living the life I pictured for myself at 30! Its true, I thought of myself in my own house, near my mom in Virginia, happily married, and with kids (working on that, but with one due any day now I’d say mission accomplished!). I think the only thing missing is that image of some ‘OLD’ me, wearing a house dress and slippers, enslaved to my kitchen, happy to just be home serving my husband and children. I am definitely not that ‘OLD’ woman of my 20 year old mind!
I am happy to finally have enough life experience to have fun, responsibly and be able to afford to do all the fun things I want without checking my bank account and credit card balances. My tastes for fun have matured to quiet bars and live bands as apposed to dance clubs and raves. Summertime is now spending the days with friends/family/neighbors either floating in the pool enjoying cold cocktails, or on the beach with a few beers; as apposed to the steamy nights out followed by skinny dipping at the beach. I am lucky enough to have a husband that I want to share my everyday with, but who also gives me my own time and knows when I just need to be out with my girls. This ‘OLD’ woman finds that she still LOVES sexy stilettos and dressing to be noticed. I am quite happily married, but I’m not dead, and I certainly appreciate and want to turn a head or two every now and then! I certainly don’t own any mom jeans, and wear clothes to compliment the curves I have earned.
At 30, you look to getting ‘OLD’ as turning 65. When I qualify for social security and medicare I might finally be able to tell someone that I am ‘OLD’. However, I will probably be laying on a beach in the tropics, sipping cocktails with my husband, enjoying our retirement and I hope to still have that 20 year old self smiling in approval at how well I wear my age. At 30 I finally understand what it means to be young at heart. Don’t get me wrong, I know I am not 20 anymore! My after shower reflection will tell you that much, and when I wake up with a pounding headache after 4 glasses of wine the night before, I know I am no longer 20! But I still wake up and want my husband to look at me and want me, so I do my hair and make up and dress becomingly. I still work out and want to be viewed as desirable, especially by my hubby, but admiration elsewhere doesn’t hurt either! I want my kids to see that I am their mommy, but to everyone else I am Courtney. Its important that they know that I have my independence and I give some of my time every day to fulfilling my own needs and wants. I wear all the hats of Mom, Wife, and Daughter, but my most important hat is keeping in touch with me, Courtney, the woman!
I may not be that pretty little girl at 20, but damn does it feel even better to be me at 30!