Banana’s and Skim Milk and all the Cabbage Soup you want to eat. Yummy! Day 4 was a COMPLETE let down. Can you believe I was actually looking forward to bananas and skim milk? It was the most disappointing day as of yet on this stupid fricking diet. After 4 bananas in a day, they begin to look like mushy yellow hellfruit. Milk, which I am not a huge fan of drinking to begin with, takes on a refreshing fresh cow pie smell and goes down as easy as a warm beer when your hungover (especially after the 2nd glass). This day is supposed to ‘lessen your desire for sweets’. This day actually makes you so hungry you are tempted to dig for grubs in the backyard.
I am sticking to this another day. Today is Beef and Tomato day. I am craving protein, and really excited about today, tell you all about the massive let down tomorrow. I have a pot roast in the crockpot covered in crushed tomatoes with spices to enjoy for dinner and some small thin steaks to eat with raw tomatoes for lunch. I will force myself to choke down some cabbage soup. Just typing ‘cabbage soup’ makes my stomach clench and I nearly gag.
Cabbage Soup Diet Warning Label:
Hunger Pains, Mood Swings, Slight case of Tourettes, Anger, Energy Loss, Fluid Bowel Movements, Frequent Urination, Fatigue, Weight Loss, Headaches, Gagging, Choking, Poor Attitude.
People on the Cabbage Soup Diet should be avoided and left alone for the duration of the diet week. If encountered be prepared to be cursed at, watch for flying objects, and be sure a bathroom is nearby. You may be mistaken for food, resulting in them looking at you hungrily and frothing at the mouth. You should leave the room immediately, lock the door behind you and do not return until Day 8 when you would be wise to show up with a scale to celebrate how much weight they lost making the week of hell worth it and a Hardee’s Big Breakfast so you don’t become their first meal. 🙂
Cheers to Cabbage Soup Dieting! (I say as we tap spoons and choke down another bowl)